Friday, March 9, 2012

Surviving Survival Mode-- Part Four-- Ask for help!


This post is part of a series. I have been talking about a cycle that my family and I have experienced when dealing with the ups and downs of chronic health conditions. We tend to rotate through times of 1. Prevention 2. Survival Mode and 3. Recovery. 

The past several posts have been all about Survival Mode. Survival Mode is the time when health is at it's worst and your family is trying to weather the storm.  

 Lastly, Survival Mode is the time to enlist help. You bring in friends, you bring in the grandparents, you call the Aunties. Call your friends from church, or neighbors. Anyone who is understanding of your situation, who is compassionate (as opposed to judging) and willing to give your family a few hours of their time. 

It is not easy to lay in bed and let someone take over your home for a bit. Things will be done differently than you would do them. You may not be able to find a single cooking utensil when you are ready to cook again. But, bottom line, you need help. Admit it, welcome it, have the humility to accept it.

It can be hard to let people in. I mean after all, your house looks like it has NEVER been cleaned. People understand the flu, but not necessarily chronic pain or asthma that leaves you barely able to move. It can feel humiliating to let others see just how messy your struggle to survive has become. But you have to do it any ways. 

If you can, hire people to clean your house. I know that for me a huge burden would be lifted off my shoulders if I could hire someone to come in and clean each week. Even in the better times pushing around a vacuum and cleaning the tub are jobs that zap energy. 

And never turn away free help and the loving compassion of friends. Friends who have eyes to see your struggle and the compassion to come alongside you and help. These friends are priceless. Be sure to appreciate them in whatever ways you can. You may never have the strength to return the favor in the same way, but pray that the Lord opens your eyes to bless them in ways that you can, and ways that they need.

Maybe you can't go over to their house and clean, but you can offer them a cup of tea and a listening ear. You can offer lots of prayer up for others while you are laying in bed. 

I know that for me, the times that have been the hardest for me to ask for help have had the most surprising endings. Friendships have been formed, long important talks have been had, laughter was shared and everyone involved was blessed. 


Here is a video that tells the story of my recovery from a spinal fusion. (Many of you may have seen it before, but given the topic, I thought I would share it again.)

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