The Tea Time Experiment

We can thank Anna Marie Russell, the 7th Duchess of Bedford for starting the tradition of afternoon tea in the late 1830's. Her need for a late afternoon snack was the start of a daily ritual for most upper and middle class families for years to come. She wasn't the first to make drinking tea fashionable (that was Queen Catherine of Braganza). However, due to the "sinking feeling" she had at 3 p.m. each day, she started having a cup of tea and a light snack. This became her daily tradition that evolved into a perfect opportunity for socializing and various forms of tea gatherings, tea gardens and tea houses have carried on the brilliant tradition ever since.

As it turns out, pretty much everyone in my house experiences a "sinking feeling" at about 3 o'clock. And my six-year-old happens to ask me to have a tea party every day. And since I have been revamping our family schedule, I decided...why not take a page out of Anna the Duchess of Bedford's book.

We are in the early days of this snack experiment, but so far, so good. There are several reasons why I want to incorporate afternoon tea time into our day.

Health Reasons
Since we are all experiencing that dreaded sinking feeling... we usually have a snack at 3 o'clock. And in general snacks tend to be more casual and in the end can easily turn into kids munching on a bag of carbs while watching something on TV. This is a recipe for a spoiled appetite when the real food (AKA Dinner) is served. Secondly it is reinforcing the bad habit of absent minded snacking of non nutritive food.

Fun Reasons
I do have two girls who love tea parties right now and are willing participants. (I will say that I haven't met too many boys who will turn down a snack and a yummy mug of tea.) I also have an assortment of tea pots that don't get enough use. And this is a time that we can all look forward to enjoying together at the end of the school day. It is a lot of fun to set out a snack on a nicer plate, use a tea pot we haven't used in a while and take a break from school and chores for a few minutes.

Relationship Reasons
It is fun to sit around and talk while having our Afternoon Tea. We share a plate of veggies, pretzel and some hummus and peanut butter to dip them in. We look each other in the eye. We smile and enjoy the food and company. I want to be in the habit of having times through out the day where I am available to listen to whatever my children need to tell me. I want to give them face to face time starting when they are at their littlest and hoping that whatever stage they go through along the way that I will be there to sit down and have a spot of tea with them.

Afternoon Tea is a great time to invite a friend or neighbor to pop in for a spot of tea and a bit of a chat. It gives my children a chance to play host and an excuse to get-together for an hour, to keep it simple and just make time for people. I love sitting down with a friend over a cup of tea...some of my most favorite moments have happened over a cup of tea.

Side Note
At this point, you may be thinking...lovely sentiment Jen but in this modern age I am driving an SUV of kids around at 3 o'clock and a tea party everyday is just not practical. To this I say, you are right, this may not be for you. But maybe something strikes a chord and you will find your own version of this.

You may also be saying to yourself, this girl obviously watches a lot of PBS and must read a lot of Jane Austen. To this I have to say, "True, true, this is all true!"

Simple Reasons
We have a snack at this time anyway. I like to drink a cup of tea at this time. Why not actually sit down and enjoy the two, rather than standing over the sink as I munch a handful of something. We are not having High Tea every day. We aren't having a plate of cookies and scones, and my kids aren't dumping in large spoonfuls of sugar into their beverages. Tea Parties can definitely turn into guzzling straight sugar parties. We are having a healthful, portioned snack with a cup of chamomile tea (with a little drizzle of honey). Simply put we are stopping to smell the roses, taking the time to look each other right in the face and smile. And building relationships along with healthy eating habits.


In my mind, it's a worthy experiment, and I really hope we can keep it up!

Through their eyes....

I remember vividly being introduced to Self Esteem in 2nd Grade. I had never heard of it before, but our elementary school was going on a full-force campaign. We were all thoroughly indoctrinated with the concept of self value and meeting goals.

Then came the process of growing up. The tug-of-war between the media sending daggers into a young girl's self-concept and the opposite encouragement to be good with who you are. During this time, a great deal of effort went into being someone who looks in the mirror and accepts you for you.

Then you have kids. You get a new body. You have tiny humans hanging off of your every limb and using your body for sustenance. Your body is not your own. You, despite best efforts, take on that wild haven't slept, I don't know what that stain is, sometimes surly look of motherhood. And you wonder, what do I look like to my child and husband?

At first the little babes see your smile, and they smile back. They love you for your milk and the comfort of your arms. Then they start walking and run circles around your legs, and hug your knee caps.

Then, they start talking and lovingly expostulate every thought and observation. It is a kind of poetry only toddlers and preschoolers can really create. You get to see the world through their eyes. And scarier... hear their observations of you.

"Wow Mom your feet are as big as a Step Sister's!"
Too many comments ending in "Your big giant bottom"
"Are those red things chicken pox?!" (No, just a bunch of zits.)
"You look like the beast." (I was getting dressed to go out and actually fixed my hair, was wearing makeup, ear rings and a nice scarf)

A smart mom knows that these little tidbits of truth should make you laugh, not cry. (I know hormones can produce irrational results, but please Mammas, this is a great time to learn to laugh... even if it is at how your child views you.) Although, laughing until you cry may just happen.

Then you savor all those sweet remarks all the more. Like, "Mommy you so pretty." This is twice as sweet when it is the echo of your husband. Who even after all those babies and even with all that really scary, curly hair...still sees you as beautiful. Then it is your job, Mamma, to believe him.

What is meant for Lent?

While growing up, my church and family didn't celebrate Lent. We had grand celebrations around Easter and I definitely felt my parents worked hard to make Easter and all it's meaning a big deal.

However, it wasn't until college or to be more specific until my internship after college that I discovered the practice of Lent. I was working as an intern in a Presbyterian Church. The staff that I was working with all celebrated Lent, and talked about it during staff meetings and during church. It really left an impression on me. This practice was something I have taken with me along the way.


Each year I learn a bit more about the practice and dive into it in varying degrees. This year I wanted to make an effort to pay attention and participate.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go to an Ash Wednesday service. I also wasn't able to do a food fast on that day. However, I was able to start my daily Lenten readings. It also marked the start date for my 40 day fast.

Through my Lenten reading I learned that there are three pillars to Lent: 1. Prayer 2. Almsgiving and 3. Fasting. Knowing this has helped give form to Lent for me. Knowing these pillars provided focus and purpose. Now I can go back to these pillars that hold up Lent and rotate through them. Each pillar points to God and gives me a purpose or practice to seek him out.

I think most people think of fasting when they think of Lent. Many people turn Lent into a diet, a way to cut out unhealthy food for a while. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE dark chocolate. Breaking the habit would remind me to pray. But, for me I wanted a bit more.

Fasting is a practice of replacement. To take something out of your life to make more room for God. To change something in your day or life that leaves you a bit lost and at a loss to know what to do with yourself. It opens up time to pray and become more in tune with your Savior.

Since I am new to this practice and still learning as I go, I am excited to see how God gives me a fuller understanding and a greater depth of His will for me in how and why to do this exercise. At any rate, right now, it has given me the opportunity to draw closer to God and reconnect.

What are my Lenten goals this year?
I gave up Facebook. I also want to participate in 40 Days of Water with Blood Water Mission However, due to health reasons right now I can't give up smoothies, tea and home made juice. So I am going to give up coffee. This is really the only thing that I buy when I am out. What I like about the 40 days of water is that it combines all three pillars of Lent. Check it out. It is an amazing cause!

I am also adding a few things. I am doing daily readings and really enjoying them. I am reading: 'Lord Open My Heart- Daily Scriptural Reflections for Lent" By Julie Davis
and
'Reconciled to God- Daily Lenten Devotions' By Amy Welborn and Paul Pennick
I am also trying to spend my time in prayer, including spending more time and closer attention to the email prayer chain from our church.

None of these things are big deals. But, I feel that God is using this and challenging me. It is good to be in a time of focus and expectation. I know that God is at work in me!

Good Morning Mamma

I have never been a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. There are still tales circulating among our extended family of the legendary tantrums I would throw when I woke up as a toddler. This wonderful morning mood followed me all the way into adult hood.

I don't want to wake up early, and when I get up it takes me forever to get moving. If I don't have a plan for the morning the night before it takes me until lunch to get my momentum.

Of course knowing what I know now about how little I was actually sleeping before I was fitted for my Oral Systemic Balance Orthotic (OSB), it all makes more sense.

But even before I started the OSB treatment I had felt the Lord tugging at my heart. He was telling me that I needed to get out of bed before my family and become a Morning Mamma.

My first response to Him was "OK, How?" Before the orthotic getting out of bed was next to impossible. I wasn't really sleeping during the night. I would finally get into some deep sleep by the time it was time to get up. It was my husbands unhappy duty to try to wake me. I would be a groggy lump on the couch as he left for work.

I could see the need, I had the desire, but the 'how' of the matter was still an issue.

Well, God answered my prayer with the 'how' of the matter. He provided me with my first restful sleep of my life. In my OSB treatment one of my main goals has been to be that Mamma that bounces out of bed in the morning. I am not there yet!

As the season has turned to fall and the mornings have gone black the verse in Proverbs 31:15 keeps coming to mind. "She gets up while it is still dark." This verse comes from the section outlining the attributes of a wife of Noble Character. She gets up while it is still dark.... and she is industrious!

It has occurred to me that the only way the chores, my exercise and Bible and prayer time are going to get done is if I get up while it is still dark. Imagine if I were to get my chores for the day done and dinner in the crock pot before the children even got up! That would be crazy!

This would also ease the tension between getting things for the house and myself done verses doing home school and keeping the family routine during the day. With my chores already done and dinner ready and waiting, I can focus on other things! Namely, Thing 1 and Thing 2, my two daughters.

This charge to get up while it is still dark requires two parts. #1 Help from the Lord. #2 The discipline to choose to obey by making choices that will lead to obedience.

In order to get up earlier you have to go to bed earlier. I need to choose to turn off the computer, and do what it takes to get in bed at a decent hour. There is no point in getting up only to be grumpy and lumpy. I might as well sleep if I am going to be like that.

I also have to prepare. I need a plan for when I rise. This means having a list waiting for me telling me what to do first. This list has to include when and what to eat and when to get dressed and what chores to do first. Until I get into a routine, I can't count on myself being able to move and think at the same time.

With the Lord's help I hope to become an Early Bird, cheerful, chirping and industrious even while it is still dark.

Extreme Makeover

Can you see the difference I feel? (I did not retouch this photo in any way!)

Well, it seems a little funny posting this picture of myself. I am just wondering if you see the difference I feel? I keep looking at the header for my blog and I see the difference. I am going to have to take some new pictures! For those of you just catching up on the miracle... I have had many chronic health problems for years. Recently, I was fitted for an Oral Systemic Balance Orthodic. This is a special retainer like thing that fits over my teeth. I wear it all the time. This Orthodic has changed my life.

Dr. Farrand Robson discovered that I was not getting enough oxygen because my tongue was too far back of my throat. This lack of oxygen caused my body to put all of it's energy into breathing. Since so much energy was being put towards this function....everything else was suffering.

The process of being fitted for the Orthotic and healing takes about three months. I am half-way through the process. I feel a million times better. Despite some ups and downs that come with the process.

It's funny, I keep loosing site of what my life used to be like. I was feeling like I wasn't making any progress. Then my husband reminded me that in one week I: did four days in a row of home school, transferred out the summer clothes for fall/winter. I decorated the house for fall. I took the girls to a bounce house in Gig Harbor and then came home and cleaned the house for a Norwex party. Sure I was tired. But I was normal tired. I was able to do all those things and not end up in bed. All I can say is: Praise the Lord!

God has also provided half the funds that I need to complete the process! Such a huge answer to prayer!

Warming up the place...

Last year I learned that in order for me to fully enjoy fall I first had to experience summer. I had back surgery in June 2010 and missed pretty much the entire summer. When fall came I was just barely starting to feel better. It was time to put away the summer clothes (which I had never worn) and to think about decorating for fall. I usually love the fall, but last year it did not appeal to me. I missed the freedom and fresh out door life of summer and was not ready to come back inside and smell that pumpkin spice candle. 

I also don't think I had enough energy to think about doing something extra like decorate.

I am happy to report... I felt like decorating this year. And I am enjoying fall this year! I enjoyed my summer and was much more ready to embrace my favorite season.

I enjoy decorating and changing a few parts of the house for each season. I really enjoy the change! I get very tired of looking at the same things. Plus my husband loves it when I decorate for fall. I really don't need another reason than that! There is nothing better than pleasing the man I love!

Here are my objectives for Fall Decorations 2011:
~ I didn't feel like having a bunch of cute things out. I wanted to warm up the house with fall colors and keep it classy. I did not feel compelled to put out every fall decoration I own.
~ The two main areas I decorate are the buffet in the dining room and the top of piano. These two areas are at the heart of my home. I can decorate those two places and it makes the whole house feel decorated. I scatter a few items here and there, but not much.
~ My main mode of decorating is to re-purpose decorations and house hold items in a fresh fall way. I took what I had and gave it a fresh look. I freshened up my vine wreath by wrapping the bobbles with foil leaves and a ribbon. Then I just tied it with string to my curtain rod.
~ I also wanted to seamlessly add in a few Thanksgiving specific decorations as we got closer to that holiday. Or if I don't feel like it... I don't have to. These decorations can last from September to Thanksgiving!
~The goal... maximum holiday feel with minimum set up or clean up!

Back in Business

A lot has stood in the way of me blogging lately. Most of my obstacles have been good things. Healing, catching up on life. Accompanying my husband on youth group trips. And some have been technical difficulties.
Now, I am happy to report, I now have wireless internet and a working laptop computer! I am so happy!
I couldn't wait to make my inaugural blog post with the new laptop and working internet.
And in addition to blogging, I will be able to do all those simple things that just need done, like ordering books from the library or getting important things from Amazon....and still be able to keep a close eye on my 3 year-old.  (She keeps doing things like dismantling the toilet, and smearing honey all over the counter, tonight she tasted glue. And really she's not destroying the house... she's just discovering her surroundings!)

See you soon! I hope!