Surviving Survival Mode-- Part Three

During Survival Mode it is time to 1. Keep things Simple 2. Keep Perspective and Stay Positive 3. Ask for help!!!

Survival Mode is a time when one or more person in your family is sick, or struggling with their health. This series of articles is from my experience as a mom who has been frequently sick. At least in my family, when the Mamma is sick everyone struggles. 


We noticed that our family seemed to be constantly moving through the cycle of:  1. Prevention 2. Survival Mode and 3. Recovery. 


Whenever I was struggling with my health either due to Benign Hypermobility Syndrome or recovering from frequent illnesses, injuries and surgeries...we named that time "Survival Mode."    


 Survival Mode is a prime time for people to feel frustrated or despairing. It isn't hard to start feeling isolated and hopeless, especially if you are stuck in bed or confined to the house. It can be hard for the care givers to keep shouldering the burden of caring for a sick person and taking on all those other mom duties. You may start question if you will ever get through this time. You wonder how long your family will be going through this and if you will enjoy a non-survival moment. 

When my family and I start to feel that way, we try to keep perspective and stay positive.

First of all, my husband and I found it extremely comforting when we remembered that God sees us. He not only sees us, He is with us and preserving us. He is ready with all the strength we need to get through any and all trials. He is a God who understands great pain and has compassion. Reading through the Psalms is such a healing balm.

We also benefited from an infusion. When you are home bound and in Survival Mode sometimes you need to bring in a little sunshine. A friend or family member that can come in a bring news of the outside world (preferably good news). Someone to brighten and encourage and induce some smiles. If you don't know anyone like this, may I suggest hiring a clown.

One vital but very difficult thing to do during Survival Mode is to open your eyes to blessings. Trials can blind you to the blessings all around you. Appreciate everything. The sun shinning through your window into your bedroom. The sweet voices your children have. The funny things they say. Laugh at how pathetic your dinner is, and thank the Lord for it anyways. Pull out photos of brighter times, and remember with fondness not bitterness the brighter days, and pray for those brighter days to come again. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness. It is easy to say, but very hard to do. However, if you can teach your children to do this with you, then you will equip then to weather trials they will face in life. 

I am not talking about mere positive thinking, or faking happiness. I am talking about a peaceful fountain that flows from your soul and springs from the Holy Spirit who works this miracle in your life. It is what happens when you allow the Holy Spirit to move and flow through you during times of trial.

Keep the Kids in the Loop!

Around our house there are a few visual reminders of our schedule that the girls can interact with.

The first is a good ol' fashioned chore chart. I found ours in the dollar section of Target. It is a great magnetic, dry erase chart. On it I have written a few chores AKA daily habits that the girls should be completing every day.

Our lists go something like this:
Brush your hair
Brush your teeth
Get dressed
Make your bed
Pick up your room
Put away your clothes.
Make sure there are no toys in the living room.
Help set the table.

*Other chores we could have put on are: Help sort the laundry. Help make the salad or veggies for dinner. 

The other visual reminder is our interactive schedule AKA Day Planner that I made.

This is a kid version of our daily schedule. It is broken down by hours of the day. For each hour there are three Velcro squares. I have laminated picture squares that represent activities we do during the day and the week. Either the night before or that morning we fill in the day with the activities we have planned. We stick the activity pictures into the time slots. It is essentially a photo day planner for kids.

How I did this Project.
1. A list of your families daily, weekly and monthly activities. You will also need a list of people you may visit or see.
2. Find a picture to coordinate with each activity or person. I used photos that I took as well as lots and lots of Microsoft Clipart.
3. Print out your activity squares. You also need to print out the hours of the day in a large font as well as your day planner title.

4. Glue the hours and the title to poster board.
5. Take the poster board and your pages of activity squares to be laminated. (I usually go to Office Depot)

6. Once everything has been laminated, apply the Velcro squares to the poster and the activity squares. (I made our school calendar and our Daily Planner at the same time. So, I made sure that all the squares that went on the poster and the calendar were the fuzzy side of the Velcro. This way the activity squares could be used on both the calendar and the day planner.)

 If there is an even coming up, I will put it on our home school calendar and then move it to our Day Planner the day of. 

7. Apply magnet strips or Command Strips to prepare to mount it to the wall or door.
8. Stick on the Activity Squares for the day and start using it!

A game plan for the day!

There is that age old question every Mamma likes to hear... "What do you do all day?"

Any woman, working outside the home, or staying home, needs to have a plan to get things done. For me, I know that there are basic things that need to happen each day. I find that the best way to ensure that things get done is to plan a time to accomplish them. I created this schedule to act as a guideline for me and my family. The more we stick to it each day, the better things seem to flow.

The trick to a family schedule is to make it structured enough to get things done. But open and flexible enough for it to work! 


For instance... the girls were playing so well this morning I didn't want to interrupt them. We didn't do home school until 1pm!

Here is a day in the life for us....

6:30 - Lights on for Mom and Dad! Wake up, drink a smoothie. Complete chores and Exercise. (This is the early morning ideal that rarely happens)--(See Good Morning Mamma)

7:30 - Start making breakfast. (This is closer to when we actually get up).

8:00 - Family Breakfast at the Table. ~ Do morning devotions, get dressed, make all beds.

8:40 - Dad leaves for work.

9:00 - Chores (for me), Girls get ready for the day and Independent play. (Or help Mamma with the chores)

10:00 - Home School Time!

10:30 - Snack and Craft Time (Or extended Home School)

11:30 - Clean up and independent play until lunch

Noon - Lunch

12:30- Clean up (Load and run the dishwasher)

1:00- Outside play time. (Or hands on Home school Activities or Egg-citing Activity)

2:00- Nap or quiet time. (Usually listening to books on tape in their bed, or doing their leap pad)

3:00- Snack Time & Computer Time (Independent play in the play room)

4:00- 10 minute Tidy- Then movie for the kids while I make dinner. (The girls help set the table and sometimes help with the salad and veggie portion of the meal.)

5:00- Daddy comes home (Although he tends to work evenings) - Welcome daddy, the girls are supposed to bring him slippers and a glass of water. They usually just attack him and freak out.

5:15- Family dinner at the table.

6:00- Clean up after dinner and then 10 minute Tidy

7:00- Start the girl's night time routine.

8:00- Girls in bed.

10:00- Lights out for Mom and Dad. (Mostly)

Surviving Survival Mode- Part Two!

This is another installment in the series-- Mamma Shouldn't Get Sick!


During Survival Mode it is time to 1. Keep things Simple 2. Keep Perspective and Stay Positive 4. Ask for help!!!

1. Keep Things Simple

When you are in Survival Mode your focus is on surviving the current crisis. You are not doing anything extra. This is not the time to keep up appearances. It is kind of like being grounded. Depending on the nature of the sickness or trial, you most likely will be spending most of your time at home or at a hospital. 

If any extra-curricular activities can be cut, do it. If home projects can be put off, put them off. Stick to the basics-- Food, Shelter, Clothing and Affection.

This can be especially hard when Survival Mode lasts months and even years. People with long term illnesses and their families may feel that they have moved to Survival-Ville. 

One of the dangers of living in Survival-Ville is that after the initial shock wears off you forget to keep things simple. You get tired of keeping things simple and let more responsibility and activities creep in... more than just a few! When you are in Survival Mode it doesn't take much to send you and your family over board. 


Survival Mode isn't where any of us what to live our lives. But, it is good to recognize when you are there. When Survival Mode becomes a lifestyle, keeping things simple has to go with it. Otherwise, you will add a roller coaster effect to an already not ideal setting.

What do I mean by roller coaster? I mean that if you don't keep things simple and do too many activities that take energy outside meeting your family's needs...you will experience a high of business that will make you feel a rush of adrenaline that will make you feel better for a short time. Then you will experience a crash. You take a nose dive back into Survival Mode. This wild ride isn't good for anyone.

Plan diversions. Get out and see people when you can. But--- Keep it simple! Once you have built up some strength and are starting to recover, don't squander it and send yourself backwards.

Keeping things simple may seem like a contradiction in terms, especially if just doing day to day things seems very over whelming. (More on this later)

But the point is, look at your life. What is most important. What NEEDS to happen to keep your family healthy (physically & spiritually) and feeling loved? Then do the hard task of cutting out the rest. Ask the Lord for help and discernment in this task.

What is meant for Lent?

While growing up, my church and family didn't celebrate Lent. We had grand celebrations around Easter and I definitely felt my parents worked hard to make Easter and all it's meaning a big deal.

However, it wasn't until college or to be more specific until my internship after college that I discovered the practice of Lent. I was working as an intern in a Presbyterian Church. The staff that I was working with all celebrated Lent, and talked about it during staff meetings and during church. It really left an impression on me. This practice was something I have taken with me along the way.


Each year I learn a bit more about the practice and dive into it in varying degrees. This year I wanted to make an effort to pay attention and participate.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go to an Ash Wednesday service. I also wasn't able to do a food fast on that day. However, I was able to start my daily Lenten readings. It also marked the start date for my 40 day fast.

Through my Lenten reading I learned that there are three pillars to Lent: 1. Prayer 2. Almsgiving and 3. Fasting. Knowing this has helped give form to Lent for me. Knowing these pillars provided focus and purpose. Now I can go back to these pillars that hold up Lent and rotate through them. Each pillar points to God and gives me a purpose or practice to seek him out.

I think most people think of fasting when they think of Lent. Many people turn Lent into a diet, a way to cut out unhealthy food for a while. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE dark chocolate. Breaking the habit would remind me to pray. But, for me I wanted a bit more.

Fasting is a practice of replacement. To take something out of your life to make more room for God. To change something in your day or life that leaves you a bit lost and at a loss to know what to do with yourself. It opens up time to pray and become more in tune with your Savior.

Since I am new to this practice and still learning as I go, I am excited to see how God gives me a fuller understanding and a greater depth of His will for me in how and why to do this exercise. At any rate, right now, it has given me the opportunity to draw closer to God and reconnect.

What are my Lenten goals this year?
I gave up Facebook. I also want to participate in 40 Days of Water with Blood Water Mission However, due to health reasons right now I can't give up smoothies, tea and home made juice. So I am going to give up coffee. This is really the only thing that I buy when I am out. What I like about the 40 days of water is that it combines all three pillars of Lent. Check it out. It is an amazing cause!

I am also adding a few things. I am doing daily readings and really enjoying them. I am reading: 'Lord Open My Heart- Daily Scriptural Reflections for Lent" By Julie Davis
and
'Reconciled to God- Daily Lenten Devotions' By Amy Welborn and Paul Pennick
I am also trying to spend my time in prayer, including spending more time and closer attention to the email prayer chain from our church.

None of these things are big deals. But, I feel that God is using this and challenging me. It is good to be in a time of focus and expectation. I know that God is at work in me!

Keep them Hopping

Here is an EGG-citing project that is perfect for this time of year. This is an activity jar. Inside this jar are eggs that have an activity listed on it.

Here are some objectives accomplished by our EGG-citing Activity Jar:
1. It answers the question... What should I do now? And it is a great alternative to letting them plop down in front of another episode of Strawberry Shortcake.

2. It reminds us of toys, games and activities that they don't play with every day. I intentionally wrote individual games and things that are tucked away in cupboards so that we remember to get them out and use them.

3. All of these activities inspire creativity and family interaction. This is also a great way to break free from boring ruts. We all know that especially when kids are young repetition is a great learning tool for kids. But it is also great to try something new, or rediscover something you have forgotten. And for the adult who is involved, it can be a refreshing change!

How does it work?
At a designated time of day, or when the time is right, get down the jar from it's shelf. Let the children choose one egg. Sometimes we let both of our daughters choose one each. Then decide which activity to do first. Perform the activity and put the completed egg into a separate jar. That way you won't keep pulling the same eggs out of the jar each time.

What do you need to make this project?
1. A large jar. I used an empty Costco sized Animal Cracker container.
2. Eggs or ping pong balls. I made my jar around Easter time. Go to the $1 store and see if you can find something that would work. I was originally going to use ping pong balls but they didn't have them at the dollar store and I couldn't find them for a cheap enough price.
3. An Inventory List of toys and games, and flash cards you want to include on your eggs. You may also want to add things like: Make a puppet show with stuffed animals behind the couch, or Dance Party!, and Put on a play of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
4. A Permanent Marker. Write on each egg one activity.
5. A shelf. Once you have written on all the eggs and put them in your jar, put them up on a shelf. The activity jar is not down where the kids can get into all the time, or dump it all out. I get it down when it is time to do an activity. Keeping it up actually adds to the excitement! 
A few pointers...

*** You may want to keep a time limit in mind. In our jar the average egg activity lasts from 10 to 30 minutes.

*** You may also like to approach your activity jar from a "Jump Start" perspective. Where you as the parent jump start the kid on the activity and then they complete it independently. This works really well if there is some kind of performance at the end. For example, put on a play and then perform it for mommy in 20 minutes. This also works well with activities like play dough.

However, I have found that the time when the eggs come in the most handy is when the girls need some parental interaction. More often than not, after completing their Egg-citing activity they are ready to do some independent play.

Mamma Shouldn't Get Sick--- Survival Mode- Part One

In a perfect world the Mamma would never get sick or hurt. We would always be in great health and able to run after our children. For many women this is not their reality.


And for me, my past five years of motherhood has had to be accomplished through a constant ebb and flow of sickness. It is never fun when a Mom gets sick, but it is so hard when a Mamma being sick is a normal part of family life. 


Before I was treated with Oral Systemic Balance (OSB)  I was sick approximately a week a month. We are not talking about a little head cold, I was sick in bed. In addition to frequent illness I had chronic pain caused by benign hyper mobility syndrome and was recovering from a spinal fusion. Since OSB these phases have become much more stretched and at times completely diminished. But even now we find ourselves back in the cycle from time to time...like during pregnancy and getting through the first 12 weeks.

As a family we find ourselves moving through a three phase cycle: 

1. Prevention -2. Survival Mode -3. Recovery to Routine. This is such a big topic for me that I will posting three articles focused on the Survival Mode Phase.


How do you know you are in Survival Mode? Well, your house looks like it has never been cleaned...ever.  Your vacuum actually has cobwebs on it. You have eaten through the contents of the freezer. All those meals you saved for a rainy day are gone. Your kids have gotten in the habit of watching much more TV than any child should watch. And your kids are wearing who knows what and probably haven't brushed their hair in a while.


Survival Mode descends on a home when one or more members of the family are sick. You may find your family shifting into this gear when going through a time of emotional upheaval as well.


Survival Mode is a place where you and your husband do whatever it takes for the family to survive, and not much more. You somehow get everyone three meals a day. Suddenly, cereal for dinner is a viable option. You bathe the kids at least once a week. Your husband goes to work and then comes home. In those hours in between you get through.


During Survival Mode it is time to 1. Keep things Simple 2. Keep Perspective and Stay Positive 4. Ask for help!!!


Stay Tuned.... in the next week I will post three more articles exploring how to survive Survival Mode.